No %26quot;just came for the 2 points%26quot; answers, please.
Only serious advice will be appreciated.
Here goes the story.
The foreign guy impressed an Asian woman to the point she dreamed of marrying him, but he never told her he had a girlfriend in his home country. The woman knew about the girlfriend when it was %26quot;too late%26quot; (when the wedding was decided).
By then, the guy had listened from her lots of hidden sufferings she had not been able to express openly to anyone else, and in some sense helped her to overcome those feelings from the past. He did this sincerely, like a friend or an elder brother (though she was 5 years older than him).
They had had sexual relations once in a period of about one year. He never asked her to become his (second) girlfriend or a lover. He had no intention to hurt, but didn't know how to tell her about his girlfriend.
Knowing about the girlfriend, or the fiancee at that time, was a total shock. She changed her job to avoid seeing him, but when she needed someone to talk about her feelings or problems, she ended calling the guy.
For the following 5+ years, the story became quite complicated, with a lot of ups and downs. At some point of time, the guy (already married and with a child) gave her a proposal, but kind of ultimatum: Let's make a stable, peaceful relationship or let's finish all communication. She took the first alternative, and they worked in the trade-off for several months.
It did not work. The fact that this guy had married other woman was a wound too deep for her to heal. The guy told her he believed it will never work, but she was reluctant to cut all communication with him.
The guy left the country with his family, without having clearly defined the relation with the other woman. She sent him an email asking technical questions (about a laptop), and he did the support part but also tried again to define what would be the future (if any) of the relation. He was already desperate about it, and after some interchange of mails and calls he sent an email that, she said, hurt her again.
It was hard specially because she had been putting lot of efforts in %26quot;remaking her world,%26quot; adapting herself to the idea of living without having the guy close, in some sense. She had already gotten some peace of mind.
The guy felt bad for her after that, but he is already mad about the situation, contrasting with her. He thinks there is no good future for it, and he wants to end it.What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
You are having problems with letting go because you became too emotionally dependent on him. He was your source of comfort and advice. I feel he was sincere with his concern over helping you but in the end found it too difficult to continue as you wanted more from him. He knew it was wrong to continue because he was already married. You also knew it was wrong to continue because he was married and it was difficult for you to be second choice. He was right in ending it. Now what you need to do is work on not being so dependent on him for emotional support. Find other people and resources to fill that void. For now you are hurt, but in the long run you will one day see how it is a much better thing for you to not remain involved with a man who will never be available to you. Good luck to you!What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
Having affairs is bad.What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
This reads like a TV Soap. He should go on a retreat alone for 3 years. Come back and start over.What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
If she had already gotten some peace of mind that he wouldn't be around then why is it an issue that he wants to end it? Seams pretty clear cut to me. What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
I'm just going to collect my 2 points, you owe me that much for reading this mess.What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
No matter how pretty you wrap up this story...here is the bottom line.
The woman is nothing but a sidekick, and someone he turned to when his girlfriend/fiancee wasn't available. This sidekick (woman) is a fool in love because all she is letting him do is eat his cake and still have it because when it comes to anything more than a secret relationship (which is what you two have) and occasional booty call, she is nothing but a sidekick.
The fact that he ACTUALLY married someone else instead of her, re-enforces that fact. If his wife finds out about the sidekick, two things will happen....She will beat the *** of that sidekick, then make him cut all communications with the sidekick...! And guess what? He will!What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
The story is kind of sad...like an old movie or something. The guy in the scenario is a lowlife and the woman a weak person who couldn't see the handwriting on the wall or want to believe he was a bastard. Unfortunately these types of situations happen still and the women (or oftentimes men) who follow their heart rather than their mind often get burnt. The shame of it is our hearts are more trusting and emotional than we should allow and people can take them and crush them. This isn't to say we shouldn't all trust...we should. It's to say we should trust until we get burnt...which she felt after his announcement that she was second best. What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
You know like road sign like stop and turn left you wouldn't follow them people get hurt i bet maybe your the type that has motives and wont know when is enoughWhat is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
Only low life scum have affairs. What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
WOMEN SHOULD MOVE ON AND FIND A REAL MAN!!!What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
Communication takes two willing parties. If you don't want communication, then, stop responding.What is your opinion about this affair story (long text)?
This is a real mess, but all I can say is that, they reaped what they sowed.....and made things too complex to deal with.
She has peace of mind and he wants to end it?
That really does not make any sense, but if he wants quits, then just get it over with! What is the matter with them? Why can't they just let go? It was a bit annoying with all the explanations, but they keep going at it? Gimme a BREAK!!!
