OK, I'm freaking out, but trying to stay calm, freaking out won't change the shocking news I just got. I've only been with like 5 people (in 8 yrs) and only 3 of them unprotected. I have always been faithful in relationships and I do not consider myself permiscuous at all. I was stupid for having unprotected sex with any of them honestly, but I was young and didn't think about it. It was unprotected with my first ever (after a couple times I thought I could trust him), then with my ex (I was his first) and we waited a 6 mos before we had unprotected, and then with my current bf.. my bf and I have been together for over 2yrs, we live together and I love him so much. So back in like Feb and March he developed these rashes on the side of his penis, we blew it off thinking it was nothing but friction or something. I got a little nervous when it came back the second time though, but nevertheless, blew it off, since I knew we were monogomous and he had never had anything like this before and me neither.
Well last week we were on vacation and I developed a little rash, I didn't say anything to him b/c I didn't want to freak him out, but I did go to the Dr just to be safe, I've always been on top of 'down there' so something like that worried me. I really thought it was nothing though maybe just irritation.
I found out this morning it is herpes. I am 23yr female, I do not know how I got this, it could've been anyone, even the people I have had sex w/protection from what my Dr told me, or someone giving oral, or even my current bf.. He never had issues though until Feb. So I'm afraid he is going to blame this all on me. I have never cheated and I feel neither of us has done anything 'wrong'. It's just a bad situation. I don't think he will be as understanding though. He can be a hot head sometimes.. I know if he told me he had it and things were flipped. I would support him, probably be confused and stuff, but I'm so afraid he is going to point the finger, freak out, and leave me or even tell his whole family or our friends.. I would be crushed. I love him so much and I would never do anything to put US in this situation.
So my question is this, how should I tell him this news? He still doesn't even know I went to the Dr or even had a rash, so I feel horrible that I never told him I had something to worry about, I just thought it was nothing to worry about and it was an irritated ingrown hair. I had no idea this was going to be the result. Someone please help guide me, I feel so alone and confused and ashamed... and most of all terrified of what's soon to come... thanksHow do u tell your boyfriend u just found out u have herpes?
We all make mistakes in life, some people don't think about the consequences when it comes to having unprotected sex. Also some people can have herpes with out knowing it. You most likely contracted it from your most recent sexual partner since the average time it takes to have an out break is between 1-3 weeks after having sex with an infected person. You can also get it from having oral sex if your partner had a cold sore (which is caused by oral herpes0 while they gave you oral sex.
If he does do that then he isn't worth your time. People that reject you for having herpes are only going to be paranoid about getting it. Or he will be in denial of having it. If he really loves you he would get tested for herpes and want to work things out.
You have to talk to him. Have a private mature, honest talk with him and tell him what happened.
You don't have to feel ashamed, you were doing nothing wrong when you contracted herpes. You're in love and the person who gave it to you probably has no idea that they have it. You're also not alone, millions of people have and are diagnosed with herpes every year.
