I met someone who knew of me, and my friends. Once we met he started showing up in places that he knew I would be at. Finally I suggested we hang out alone sometime, and we went out on a few dates, things went well. Last weekend we had a little to drink, I drove him home, and he asked me to stay. I told him I wanted to take it slow, and me staying and having sex wouldn't be taking it slow. He agreed, no sex. We kissed and fooled around a little, but no sex, but he tried. He asked me to meet his family the next day at brunch to which I explained I felt that was too fast.
He came on strong, made all kinds of confessions to me and my friend about how much he liked me when drinking that night, wouldn't let me go the next morning, and then pretends like he doesn't remember anything.
Now, this week, no phone calls, just an email and no asking to see me. Normally he reads my emails right away and responds. I responded to his email and four days - no response.
Friends think me telling him I want to take it slow means not see him that often, which is not the case. I just mean take it slow and get to know each other, which you have to spend time together to do. I know I make him nervous, I know he gets shy around me - incredibly, but has put forth effort to get my attention, i'm just shocked in the change, and to be honest, its changed my interest level, because it comes off as mixed messages.
I would have thought at this point he would want to get to know me more. But he's done a 180. I texted him last night because I was invited to a birthday event that he was - and he didn't call me up and invite me. He told me he had to leave early to work and he'd see me there, I told him I would go after he left. That basically, I was looking for someone who was interested in getting to know me, and the 180 said enough - and no hard feelings. He said he was confused (all via text, didn't even bother to pick up the phone) and then went and checked his email, he didn't know he had an email from me, he was wondering why I never answered his..... I'm so confused, and hurt - if you were truly interested, wouldn't you have picked up the phone and called her?Confused by behavior - Men?
He may sound genuinely shy, like you said...so part of it could be that he doesn't want to mess things up. Sometimes guys want to get things right so much they take your statements very literally. So if you say you want to take things slow, to him, that may mean not talkin' for a few days, etc.
Also, you never know, sometimes e-mails never get through, or they are somehow filtered wrong or accidentally deleted.
Of course, the other case could just be that he wanted to get in your pants that one night and afterwards, he realized that wouldn't work so he stopped...but i have a hard time believing that because he wanted to introduce you to his parents.
You two need to meet up again and just sort things through, and figure out where you both are in terms of seeing each other and what you each want.Confused by behavior - Men?
Make a shorter question.
Pl0xxConfused by behavior - Men?
Sure he wasn't just trying for sex? That's usually when guys change their mind when you tell them you want to take it slow. They'll say and do a lot of flashy stuff in the moment, but they won't stick around for long if they just want to see how you ride.Confused by behavior - Men?
I don't think anyone fully understands a mans mind. You mentioned that this guy is shy. Could it be that he just feels embarassed by the way he acted the night you were out drinking. Maybe he is worried about what you or your friends might have thought of what he said or did? I would just give it time. If he is really interested in you, he will find a way to let you know. In the meantime, don't sweat it. If he lets you go over something as small as %26quot;taking it slow%26quot; he obviously wasn't too into you anyways. His loss, right!Confused by behavior - Men?
I would have picked up the phone and had called. But then again, you wanted to take it slow and not have sex with this guy that you knew of you-so you don't really know him or he know you.
He could have just wanted sex with you right then and there at his house because he was drunk and he really wasn't in his right mind.
I say that you should move on and don't wait up with any email, text, IM or anything. He may have second thoughts to you and you should just try not to get involved with him ok?
HOPE THIS HELPS!!! : )Confused by behavior - Men?
yes hes playing games with you. as hard as it is for me to say this he doesn't have true genuine feeling for you. im sorry. when we really like a girl we pay attention and don't miss emails or forget to call her. if he really wanted to make you happy and be with you he would totally respect your decisions and not try to pressure youConfused by behavior - Men?
LOL WOW! Is this guys name Rob? lol I'm sorry I dealt with this SAME situation about 6 months ago during a break with my ex. The guy would confess all these things and want me to meet his family and yadayada, but ironically the next day when brought up couldn't remember it due to drinking, and would then ignore MY phone calls and text messages. It has nothing to do with you, some men are just flakes. I didn't put out either and thats probably what he's looking for honestly. I'd say he's not interested and he's just looking for a booty call.Confused by behavior - Men?
Interesting question, and I hope I can help out a little. As a guy, I know that unfortunately, a lot of men do happen to view the statement, %26quot;I want to go slow%26quot; as a signal that the girl may not truly be interested. Sadly a lot of men do like to move fast, and if the girl is adverse to it, they tend to try and move on to the next girl. Take my best friend for example, he has always had girlfriends that have sex with him within the first to second date. He jumps to propositions, and has been engaged many times. Yet recently, he met a really great girl, and was constantly coming to me for advice. The girl wanted to move slowly, she didn't want to jump into anything, and wanted to get to know him.
He was absolutely sure this meant she wasn't interested, or had someone on the side. Despite my many attempts to tell him that anything worth having is worth working for, he wouldn't be dissuaded from his belief. Just recently I found out he'd stopped contacting her, because it was going so slowly that he didn't believe it was going anywhere. It seems remarkably like your situation, and I hope it can shed a little light.
Would I have picked up the phone and called? Personally yes, I believe that any important conversation should be held verbally or in person. I think it is slightly rude of your suitor to have ignored you as he has, as I believe the same of my friend, regardless of how close I am to him.
I hope I've helped a little.Confused by behavior - Men?
Hmm, from the way this guy is acting, it seems like he just wanted things to his way. It could have been a just sex thing but i'm not 100 percent on that but whatever the case, the basic point is that he didn't want to take things slow. The best way to really explain it. You're right...going slow doesn't mean talking or seeing each other less, it means take your time with the physical and emotional connection. He seems to maybe have lost patience with the whole thing and just decided to move on. A guy that really likes you doesn't treat you like this. You'll be able to tell without a doubt that he's crazy about you.Confused by behavior - Men?
You were right.
Is not better for you to be hurt at this stage rather than afterward.
however, before taking any step call and ask the reason behind it.
dont loose yous virginty with any unreliable person. Your procedure is fine.
Be patient and take very righteous decission and never think how it hurts you.
a good wisher
